VESELAIA KHRONIKA OPASNAGO PUTESHESTVIIA
(The Merry Chronicle of a Dangerous Voyage)
A.K.A. Argonavtebi ("Argonauts")
1986
81 min. (TV) | JSC "Quarti Pilmi" | Georgian S.S.R.

Starring:

• Zura Kipshidze as Iazon (Jason)
  
• Lika Kavjaradze as Medea
  
• Sergey Shakurov as Diogen (Diogenes)
  

Directed by: Yevgeni Ginzburg
Written by: Dzhemal Bagashvili, Yevgeni Ginzburg

In 1984, Tim Severin tried to prove the Argonauts' voyage really happened by sailing a boat modeled on an ancient craft all the way to Georgia. Using this concept as a starting point, the film then flashes back to ancient Greece to present the story of the Argonauts as a musical. Yes, a musical. A Soviet musical. A scholar who viewed the movie described it to me as "dire." He wasn't kidding. If it had ever been dubbed into English, it would have been on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I cannot adequately describe a movie where ancient Greeks are playing electric harpsicords and singing some of the worst synthesized 1980s pop-electronica imaginable. The costumes are atrocious; the sets are unconvincing, and even the location shots look far too grim for the apparently lighthearted music. Squandering the benefits of filming on the actual site of Colchis, the film's special effects are nonexistent and the plot is almost entirely that the Argonauts sail to Colchis for the Fleece, meet Medea, and sail away. The film is online at the Georigan National Filmography website, if you dare.